Books It's A Guy Thing : An Owner's Manual for Women
Books and Publications Average Rating:

Rating: - mars and venus takes a spiritual step
I've read Deida's "The way of the Superior Man" as well as "Dear Lover" and am a bit biased at this point as I think his work is helpful within a larger understanding of how men and women typically behave (read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus first), but can come across as extreme at times (more in "dear lover" than this book or "superior man") Overall, Deida's work has been helpful for me. I've explored Deida's ideas and advice with my Man over tha past several months, and find it is usually helpful, but I think much of it would have been hard for me to swallow/potentially damaging if I hadn't read other books on male/female behaviour first. Use your judgement and filter the more perverse aspects of Deida's philosophy against the larger picture of your ethics and use what is helpful to you, discard the rest.

---

Rating: - guy thing
This book was helpful for understanding guy logic. I learned alot and found it informative. However, the book also tends to be repetitive and could have been edited more stringently.

---

Rating: - East meets West, with uneven results
I recently picked up a copy of this book after hearing about it at a seminar. There are certainly, some valuable insights in here on American male psychology, but explaining this within the "new age" constructs of "masculine vs. feminine energies", misrepresents the eastern traditions these beliefs are based on and excuses pretty unenlightened male behavior as "just boys being boys". Honestly, my overwhelming sense while reading this book was. "Wow, men have a pretty fragile grasp on their sexuality if they find women with these traits threatening, unattractive, unfeminine, and upsetting to their masculine energy".

Don't get me wrong, I think the author's insights into why men and women, particularly American men and women, have difficulties getting along have merit. I've dated men who demonstrate the behaviors he discusses, so his "insider" perspective is interesting.

At the same time, however, it does seem to be primarily applicable to American gender relations. How American men express their masculinity is pretty unique, I mean we are the land that brought the world ultra violent video games, blow'em to smithereens action movies, and extreme football. It seems disingenious to suggest that the behaviors he mentions are about "masculine energy". Rather it's about the way America socializes men to be men.

More troubling, at times this book reads like a justification for pretty bad male behavior and then, to add insult to injury, justifies it with the quasi-spiritual notion of balance between male and female energies.

For example, here's an example of male energy at work in conflict. Let's say you and your man are in the midst of a heated argument. You retreat to another room and ask for some time to be by yourself. If your man honors this request and leaves you alone, he's engaging his "feminine energies" and the implication is that he is being uncaring. But if he bursts in the room, grabs you against his chest and refuses to let go until you talk to him, even if you hit him, why that's just a manly man showing his love for you. I find the notion of a man bodily forcing you to deal with him on his terms and on his time schedule morally offensive. This isn't about masculine energy, this is about disrespect and disregard for a partner's wishes.

Here's another winner. Deida suggests that men's male energies will really surge if women are willing to engage them in a game of "let's pretend I'm a virgin". I'm not kidding. I can't believe any self respecting guy wouldn't find this just weird (but then again, I've never understood the guys who had the girl scout and pigtails fantasy either)

Moreover, at no point does he indicate that maybe, just maybe, it's not all about women "gifting" men with their love. Mutual, loving partnerships are about compromise and acceptance on both ends.

That said, I did learn a lot about men from this book. So if you're in a relationship or just looking for one, it's useful for understanding the "beast" you're looking to entice, and why he may find you intimidating.

---

Rating: - It could have been better...
It made me feel as if men are supposed to do whatever it is they want to do while their female companion continually "gifts" them. I'm tired of "gifting" all the time, just to receive zilch!