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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
by: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher

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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780140288520
ISBN: 014028852X
Label: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 250
Publication Date: 2000-04
Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Release Date: April 03, 2000
Sales Rank: 592
Studio: Penguin (Non-Classics)

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Editorial Review:

Book Description:
Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.

Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying 'no,' or 'I'm sorry,' or 'I love you,' we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation

Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

'Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does.'-- The New York Times

'These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.'-- Booklist

'Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?'-- Tom Peters

'Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments.'-- Daniel Goleman

Amazon.com:
We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the 'what happened' conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the 'feelings' conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the 'identity' conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman

Customer Reviews

Average Rating: out of 5 stars

Rating:

- conversations
It is intense with good information, should be read slowly in order to incorporate suggested language into daily routine.

Rating:

- Looking forward to great results!
This book helped me to recognize where some of my previous conversations have gone wrong and should help me gain the foresight I need to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. Also a book that have a great chapter about this topic is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

Rating:

- Great Book
This book is a wonderful tool to assist you in crafting a good response to a difficult conversation or work on training your management team to converse well. The contribution ideas are priceless, its a bargain for the price and a must have in any executive's library.

Rating:

- Excellent tips for dealing with the most difficult conversations

Difficult conversations is a book from the Harvard Negotiation Project (of which "Getting to Yes" is probably best known) and is about the conversations we need to have, but we are afraid of them or they always blow up in our face. How to handle such conversations.

The book essentially consists of two parts (plus an intro, plus an end). The first part of about the problem and the different conversations happening when involved in a difficult conversation. The second part is concrete about, what to do.

The first part describes three ongoing conversations:
- The "What Happened conversation"
- The "Feelings conversation"
- The "Identity conversation"

The "what happened" conversation is about ... what happened. Trying to understand what happened. Not necessary finding "the truth" since with multiple people involved, there will be multiple viewpoints. It's ... Read More

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